Of Rainbows and VTO

I have been thinking about my core desired feelings a lot lately. Yes, partly because of Danielle LaPorte’s mega exciting launch! Also, it is the way out of a funk.

jan132015

Knowing what you are feeling and why you are feeling it is good. Necessary even. For me, though, if I don’t acknowledge how I want to feel instead, I get stuck. All I can see is what I have labeled my situation. I get emotional and sensory blinders, if you will, that restrict my view of everything.

I have 4 feelings I focus on more than others–at least when I’m trying to make decisions, get my thought processes changed or move my life forward. I’ve listed them before, but one seems to be the hinge, or the doorway feeling for the others.

FreedomĀ 

january132015

For the second week in a row, I got voluntary time off on Tuesday. Last week, I completely embraced every ounce of freedom that day brought. Bus schedule be damned I was going to do weekend things on a weekday!

I took a bus across town to a tiny, local ice cream shop I’ve wanted to try for a few years. I ordered a double scoop in a waffle cone. Egg nog and peppermint stick. Even though the weather had changed and it felt like May in Maine, I had Christmas in a cone. I took silly photos to send to my sister who believes it isn’t Christmas without candy cane ice cream.

I walked up the bridle path and to further confuse the metaphor, yellow leaves were gently falling off the trees. I missed two buses. And didn’t make it home in time to hike–my first thought when I was told to go home for the day.

jan1315

Yesterday I was sent home again. This time, it was raining when I walked out of the office. Sprinkles at first but as soon as I was under the bus stop shelter it got harder. So I sat, across the street from where I just got off the bus and drank a little coffee, in the rain.

The walk back to the house was rain free and gorgeous. I wouldn’t have seen or felt any of it from my cubicle behind a partition wall that lives between my desk and the freedom of a wall of windows (which always have the blinds closed tight).

To be honest, my thoughts pinged back and forth between:

Look up!

Another day without pay

Deep breath

Maybe they emailed me back

Oh and another day off without pay next week

Hello! It rained!

Then I turned the corner. (Nice metaphor huh?)

Ta-da! Rainbow. Hello heaven sent message. I sure needed you.

I wanted a picture. My cell phone camera is a bit lacking in the, well, in every way really. I snapped a photo anyway. And kept walking. A little faster and under my breath I was begging the rainbow to stay, just for me, just until I reached the top of the hill. Wouldn’t ya know it? It did.

Still my phone camera disappointed me. Until I decided to take control. I would tell it to take in less light. Make an adjustment to see what was important. It worked.
feelings

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