After sitting cross legged several nights in a row, trying to be present, I woke up in the silence and heard my lack of gratitude panting like it had won the race.
The I-Can-Do-It-Myself attitude can run fast. As fast as the life that you let speed by so that you don’t have to notice what you aren’t doing. The hours blink in front of you like the tv screen you are planted in front of.
I wonder sometimes how Christians balk at meditation as too new age, self-centered. When I sit in a yoga class, and the meditation part of the practice comes around, I am asked to notice my breath. Didn’t God do that? Didn’t He breathe my breath into me? Didn’t the writers of scripture through the Holy Spirit remind us that we are but a breath?
I’m not here to convince you that yoga is good or that everyone practices a good form of meditation.
I just know this.
I am breath.
And lately, I’ve had to pay someone to remind me as much as I sit on blue rectangle and attempt to relax into the knowledge of the Breath that fills me.
Another way that I am reminded of my being is to turn moments and thoughts and sights into gratitude. I can forget this. I can live each day as if it doesn’t matter. When I remember, when I know better, I do better.
So I list the day….
*stillness in the house
*twinkle lights shining through the night
*food in the freezer
*the anticipation of a friend’s visit
*fashion advice over skype
*another stone in the path from here to there
*seeing the end of two long years come into view
Linking my list to all the others … the sweetest way I know to sing in harmony.