Last week I talked about settling. How I had hoped to settle IN to a routine, into a new space.
Instead, I ended up in a verbal dueling with my inner critic.
Once he starts, he is a loaded semi headed down Mosquito Pass. Which means I am stuck on the theme of settling. I’m picking it apart to dismantle the critic’s argument.
How can I accept one thing and not end up settling for its twin sister too?
Settling can be giving up–even if it is an exchange of one idea for another, reasonable idea.
Accepting is another letting go.
I have to choose my body, as it is, but not stay here.
This is where I sat, with these words “choose my body”, until another loaded word sat up, raised its hand, and said, “I volunteer! I can make this journey more complex. Pick me!!”
That B word.
Beautiful is the scale tipper. The battle shifter. Beautiful is like flanking in this mental combat zone. A risky undertaking but always a means to shift a stagnate, weary thought process.
Oh. So you didn’t take military history with Maxie? Ok. Let me explain.
Beautiful is the word that comes to me out of left field. A head snap to catch the unbelievable moment. The unexpected, yet necessary, shift to force through the lines of my story.
Beautiful is the key to pushing acceptance away from the edge. It keeps acceptance from falling off and becoming settling.
I’m working on beautiful.
Beauty is not final. It is not a size. A number. Or a place to sit down.
Beautiful is a grace to accept, to carry on the journey.
Now if I could round up a small army (Men in uniform…squirrel!), train them to chant loud. Sing out. Beautiful.
Because real change matters and even in this desert, no one has to be subject to my body in a bikini 24/7. They might, however, have to sit beside me at work, on the bus or at the dinner table.
A beautiful person beats thin thighs in my book.
I cannot just be my body. Sometimes my brain thinks we would be better off without it. This twelve weeks and beyond will be for me every ounce an emotional and relational transformation. My body is charged with doing the footwork–literally–to get me there.
This may not be your journey. If you need some encouragement from photographs, or people who can cheerlead you into better eating habits, or pushing through workouts, please check out the blogger section of the website. There are good people there, and every one is telling their own story.
This week there is a freebie on the website. Go, check it out, it’s a simple sign up at the bottom of the page. Give it a try. You have nothing to lose but inches and regret.
***Revolt Now Fitness blindly chose me to complete a 12 week fitness challenge and share my experience with you. I didn’t promise to be positive. They didn’t give me a magic pill to forget that cookies exist. I’m not sure why I didn’t get that request in writing from the beginning. You can follow along on this summertime journey by visiting on Tuesdays, or scrolling to the bottom of the blog, ie Antarctica, and clicking on the “follow the blog by email” section under my soon-to-be-slimmer face! ***